Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Happy Birthday, sweet Jason

November 12th, Jason would have turned 35. I miss him so much that sometimes I have to remind myself to breathe. Although the pain is not as sharp as it once was, it is still there. It is with me everywhere I go. When I wake up, when I go to sleep, when I go to work, when I come home from work, when with the kids, when without the's always there. I guess it always will be. The grace of our Lord continues to amaze me. It is His grace that gets me through each day...He even provides moments of joy. It's so hard to understand how I can experience joy, yet at the same time feel such sadness over not having Jason in my life. The only way I can attempt to wrap my head around it is to say...BUT God! He continues to supply my every need and then some.

I hate so badly that we can't celebrate Jason's birthday with him today or ever again on this earth. Yet, it is the HOPE of heaven that our Lord gives us that gives me the assurance that one day we will celebrate with him again. To this promise I cling tightly.

I am so proud of our children that the Lord blessed us with. As much as they tire and wear me down each day, I certainly can't imagine going through this thing called life without them. All 3 of them are doing so well considering they are missing their daddy in their life.

Anna Lea speaks daily of him and I am so thankful she does. She is so precious. Jason would be so proud of how well she has handled all of this. She came downstairs last week after the others had already gone to sleep. I was sitting in the den when she asked, “mom, are you angry that daddy died?” Without hesitation I said, “no, Anna Lea, just very sad.” Immediately I asked her the same question. Without any delay she replied, “no, just sad, too, but I am also very happy that he is happy in heaven.” Wow. My prayers are being answered. You see, I can honestly say that I have never been angry with God over his choosing to take Jason home at 33. I have certainly questioned his ways, but I have chosen to trust His sovereignty. I have prayed over and over that my children would always do the same...with this situation as well as any other hard lessons life throws their way. To hear my sweet daughter say she was happy that her daddy was happy in heaven brought me such joy and comfort. She is learning to trust our Lord at such an early age and for that I am so very thankful.

Jon Brent looks the most like Jason and has so many of his characteristics. Sometimes when he smiles it literally takes my breath away because I can see Jason's smile all over his little face. It totally amazes me how many ways Jon Brent is like his daddy. The way he likes his things just so defined Jason to a tee. Daily my parents and I laugh aloud at something Jon Brent does and then we look at each other and say, “that is Jason.” His memories of his daddy are few, but I am praying daily that somehow, someway he'll remember more than most can remember at his young age. The other day I was putting on make-up in my bathroom when Jon Brent started shouting, “mom, come here, come here!” I went to see what he was needing and discovered a large smile on his face with his finger pointing to the tv. There was a music video that Jason used to play for he and Anna Lea from Nick Jr.'s website. The exact video was being played on tv at that moment. He remembered Jason playing it on the computer for them and how they would all dance around while it played. Jason would do this with the kids almost daily when we lived in Naples. Oh, how I was so sad for Jon Brent at this very moment, but at the same time so excited that he remembered this special time on his own.

And then there is sweet Ally. I have written before how I hurt for her in such a different way than the other two. She is full of life and certainly has a mind of her own! She is the most independent one of the three. She would have made Jason laugh...a lot. Her little personality would have really intrigued him. I am certain there would have been moments of him scratching his head over little Ally, but she would have also had him totally wrapped around her finger. Right now her life is happy and full. She doesn't know the sadness we experience on daily basis. She doesn't remember the months Jason was sick or what life was like shortly after his death. All she knows is that she is loved by all that surround her and for the most part all of her wants are met! (mainly by Nana! :) She knows only of the word 'daddy' because Anna Lea saw to it several months ago that she learn who he was from pictures that are placed all over our house. Sadly she really doesn't know him. She will only know of him. She will only know the things about him that we tell her. I am convinced that she will grow to love who he was, but I hate more than I can express that she will never experience his love on this earth.

As I remember sweet Jason on this his birthday, I am still clinging to my Savior to sustain me. My God has been SO incredibly faithful to me each and everyday. I choose to continue to praise Him for He is so worthy to be praised. He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, My God in whom I trust!" Psalm 91:1-2

Happy Birthday, sweet Jason! I pray we are making you proud, but more than that I pray we are making Jesus proud. We love and miss you more than you will ever know and as Anna Lea said so simply...we ARE happy that you are happy in heaven! We can only imagine...

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Welcome Jon Dawson Weathers!

Friday morning God blessed this earth by giving Brad and Sherri a healthy baby boy. Dawson is most beautiful! To me he looks very much like his sweet mom. His dad is pretty sweet, too, but I think right now he looks more like ReRe. :) As I experienced the excitement of this new life on Friday, my mind couldn't help but think of Jason. He loved Brad so much and felt just as strongly for Sherri. I hate so badly that he missed out on the birth of their new son, but just maybe our Lord allowed him to catch a glimpse of the joy we were all experiencing. I hate so much that Dawson will not know his Uncle Jason personally, but I know we'll all take the time to tell him what an amazing man he really was.

The kids were so excited to welcome Dawson into this world. I think I now have a new problem to deal with though...since we live next door to Brad and Sherri, they want to be over there CONSTANTLY! Poor Dawson...he has no idea how much love awaits him! They are most proud of their new cousin. I look forward to all the fun memories we will make watching them all grow up together.
Uncle Brad leading the kids to meet Dawson for the first time!

I am so very happy for Brad and Sherri. Many don't know how long they waited for this precious baby. They sacrificed so much of their life while Jason was sick and even now they continue to go above and beyond for us. I am so thankful that God has blessed them with this sweet baby boy. Our God is good!

Anna Lea, Jon Brent and I left for a quick weekend getaway in Oxford on Friday afternoon. Scott, Ashley and the boys moved to Oxford in August so this was our first time to be able to visit them since the move. Between the birth of Dawson and then a weekend with Ross and kids were PUMPED! They also went to their first Ole Miss football game and that was a treat for sure. Of course, wearing red and blue was quite different than wearing black and gold. :)

I have said this so many times before, but I am so blessed with all of my family. Enjoy some pictures from all the excitement we experienced over the last few days. "Taste and see that He is good!"

Ashley with Jon Brent, Ross, Anna Lea and Ross' good friend Mattie

Uncle Scott refers to Ole Miss as the closest place to heaven on earth! (That's a big HA
for me, but sadly he is MOST serious!)

Anderson stayed at home during the game, but I did manage
to take this picture of him while he was dressing up in
his Halloween costume. So fun!
As soon as we got back from Oxford on Sunday we
went straight over to see Dawson!
Anna Lea and Dawson- she loves him so much!

Jon Brent was such a natural holding Dawson. Reminded us
all of his sweet daddy when he held a baby.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Heaven Is the Face...Thanks, Steven Curtis Chapman

Recently I heard Steven Curtis Chapman's new song entitled "Heaven is the Face." What a song! The Chapman's lost their 5 year old daughter in a most tragic accident around the same time as Jason's death. He captured his feelings of heaven in this song. The first time I heard it I was an emotional wreck. It was definitely an ugly cry, as my dear friend Kristen would say. I attempted to sit down several times to write about it, but there were no words. Until today. Experience this song for yourself in both the lyrics as well as the actual song... Click here.

Heaven is the face of a little girl

With dark brown eyes

That disappear when she smiles.

Heaven is the place

Where she calls my name Says, “Daddy please come play with me for awhile.”

Chorus: God, I know, it’s all of this and so much more,

But God, You know, that this is what I’m aching for.

God, you know, I just can’t see beyond the door.

So right now...

Heaven is the sound of her breathing deep,

Lying on my chest,

falling fast asleep while I sing.

And Heaven is the weight of her in my arms,

Being there to keep her safe from harm while she dreams

And God, I know, it’s all of this and so much more,

But God, You know, that this is what I’m longing for God, you know,

I just can’t see beyond the door.

Bridge: But in my mind’s eye I can see a place

Where Your glory fills every empty space.

All the cancer is gone,

Every mouth is fed,

And there’s no one left in the orphans’ bed.

Every lonely heart finds their one true love,

And there’s no more goodbye,

And no more not enough,

And there’s no more enemy (no more).

Heaven is a sweet, maple syrup kiss

And a thousand other little things I miss with her gone.

Heaven is the place where she takes my hand

And leads me to You,

And we both run into Your arms.

Oh God, I know, it’s so much more than I can dream.

It’s far beyond anything I can conceive.

So God, You know,

I’m trusting You until I see Heaven in the face of my little girl,

Heaven in the face of my little girl.

I have ashamedly admitted on this blog before how I never longed for heaven the way I long for heaven until my sweet Jason left this earth. Don't get me wrong, I am NOT ready to depart this earth as I have 3 precious children to raise and enjoy, but I don't fear heaven or hold on to this world as tightly as I did prior to July 12, 2008. Steven Curtis Chapman so beautifully described what heaven is to him right now. As he wrote, he knows heaven is so much more than any of us can comprehend. Our understanding of our glorious inheritance can't be fully understood until we see it for ourselves. I think, wait, let me rephrase that...I KNOW our God understands our heart when we long for those that have gone on before us. For He knows our inner most being...better than we know ourselves.

For me heaven IS seeing the face of Jesus and bowing down before Him in adoration, but it also is reuniting with Jason. It will also be the opportunity to see that smile of his and feel his giant arms embrace me once more. It will be a chance to see the way he looked at Anna Lea, Jon Brent and Ally so very lovingly. Oh...heaven will be that and SO much more. God, I continue to trust Your plan until Jason takes my hand again and leads me to You. The day will come...a promise I cling to each day. I am ready. Are you?

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Unfailing Love

I was working around the house the other night after the kids went to bed. As I worked, I decided to listen to my IPod. A song came on that I had not heard in quite some time by Chris Tomlin entitled Unfailing Love. Here are the lyrics. Listen here.

You have my heart and I am yours forever
You are my strength, God of grace and power
And everything You hold in Your hands
Still You make time for me
I can't understand
Praise You God of earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love
And You never change, God you remain
The Holy One of my unfailing love
Unfailing love
You are my rock the One I hold onto
You are my song and I sing for You
And everything You hold in Your hands
Still you make time for me
I can't understand
Praise You God of earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love
And You never change,
God you remain The Holy One of my unfailing love
Unfailing love

It is a beautiful song with such simple lyrics. I spent time recently reading through old emails. I came across so many emails that I had sent and others had sent me during the 7 months of Jason's battle with leukemia. As I read through those emails, I was filled with so many emotions. Obviously, sadness engulfed me, but one other emotion that took hold of me was thankfulness to our Lord. Most of the emails I sent were all sent at a very low and dark times. I was writing most of my prayers, thoughts and feelings on the caringbridge site, but some things I kept between close friends and family. Read below a portion of an email I sent out to a few friends the day that Jason went for his first consult at MD Anderson. A little background information...Jason had just gotten out of the hospital after being there for a total of 6.5 weeks. He was released from the hospital on a Sunday and exactly 5 days later I was admitted to the hospital to deliver sweet baby Ally. Jason left for Houston when Ally was 7 days old. Whew! My hormones and emotions were running wild! Read email below. Written on March 3, 2008 at 2:16 p.m.

Dear Friends,
Ok... here I am again. Needing prayer... that's all I am good for these days. Jason in Houston now. He had a pretty bad a.m. and is having or just had the biopsy as I type this email. I am thankful that his dad and brother are with him. He heard the very scary talk today from docs and others about the transplant and all that could possibly take place from that. Not sure how much any of you have read on bone marrow transplants, but it is a very risky procedure. Lots of complications can occur and it isn't always a "sure" thing as far as even engrafting to his body.

I've read where some patients have to have many transplants. Oh, how I pray we're not in that category. I am so tired and emotional right now that I know that me being in Houston would have been a disaster, but oh I wish I was there to comfort him after hearing all the bad he heard this a.m. I have read TONS on bone marrow transplants, but Jason has chosen to stay in dark and I guess I can't blame him if it helps him to get through this time. However, he heard it today. Dr. Bellare and I both warned him that what he'd hear today would scare him and it did. I know they have to tell you the worse case scenario, too.

Dr. Champlin told him he needed a transplant ASAP - possibly even by the end of the month. Hopefully in about 10 days we will hear if there is an initial match. Please pray that there is a perfect match. Un-related matches are even riskier than related match (meaning brother/sister). We were hopeful that he'd be able to finish school while awaiting transplant, but doc in Houston says that isn't possible right now. He says he'll have to continue treatment every so many weeks until a match is found. That is so hard on his body and I can't even imagine how he could physically do it several more times. Very disappointing in so many ways to say the least. He is so close to finishing school. Of course, that means that much longer we are not employed and have no income. That stresses me out a little, too. Trying not to focus on $ b/c I just want my husband well. We'll figure out $ later. Oh, and to top it off, $500,000 is the what they said transplant would cost. Yikes. Anyway, I am rambling right now b/c that is how everything in my head is ... all jumbled up.

Please just pray for me emotionally right now. Obviously, pray for Jason, too. Pray for a perfect match. Pray for J mentally, too. I know he is totally overwhelmed right now. I can't even imagine what it is like for him. Pray for logistics of having to temporarily relocate to Houston, which causes me GREAT anxiety. Literally. Not knowing if my kids can come or how often I'll see them makes me sick to my stomach. Finding a place to live and how we'll pay for that is a need, too. I know God is in control, but I feel as if everything is caving in around me right now. I know this isn't too big for him. I mentally know all of his promises, but my heart isn't grasping them right this minute. I assume these are all very normal emotions that I am feeling. Having just had a baby probably makes me even more emotional, too. Darn hormones. I need my husband well. Our precious children need him well. Oh, how I pray that the Lord's plan is to heal him. I am not sure how I will make it if it isn't a part of his perfect plan.

Wow. Just reading this email again brings back so many feelings, yet I see His hand so clearly now, but in some ways I couldn't see Him then. I see His provisions for us as I look back. He didn't make a way for a match immediately. He didn't arrange housing in Houston. He didn't provide many of the needs I mentioned above because our Sovereign Lord knew that on July 12, 2008, his battle on earth with this disease would come to an end. He didn't meet those needs in our time because His time is different. His ways are not our ways, but regardless He WAS so faithful the entire time. He was working in ways I couldn't see or even imagine and although we so badly wanted God to heal Jason through a transplant, God had a different plan.

Now back to the song I posted at the beginning of this post. His unfailing love never ceases to amaze me. He never changes. Even when I couldn't grasp his promises, they were still true! He was and IS my strength...God of grace and power. He is my unfailing love. I continue to stand in awe of who He is and how He works. May I never get over Him!

Monday, August 10, 2009

(actually written on Saturday, August 15, 2009 - for some reason the date and time not correct...)
I realized the other day that I really didn't blog much in July. It was definitely a BUSY month. Here are some things that happened in a quick synopsis:

*At the beginning of the month I was able to see the broadway play Wicked for a second time in Memphis with my mom, Ashley, Melinda and good friends, Danya and Megan Hogue. It was even better the second time!

*Right after returning from Memphis came the 1 year anniversary of Jason's death on the 12th. It was a most difficult time, but the kids and I were able to go to Destin with Jason's parents as well as Brad, Sherri and Bailey. I don't think I was totally prepared for the emotions I would experience on the days leading up to July 12th. For the first time since Jason's death, I also began to deal with minor health issues that I know were totally related to the anxieties I was experiencing. As of now, must of those issues have resolved themselves. I must admit that FEAR crept in as I began to deal with some of the issues. Fear that something might be seriously wrong with me. I certainly wasn't taking every thought captive...
Praise God, His grace is enough! Once again, He was there! He brought me a peace that only He could provide.

*While speaking of July 12th, let me take an opportunity to thank SO many of you for your prayers, emails, text messages, cards and ALL the love that was sent my way during that week. Once again I was totally amazed and overwhelmed. The memories of Jason that were shared were absolutely priceless. On July 12th alone I had 115 emails! It was unbelievable. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I will treasure all of them for years to come, as will the children.

*Once we returned from Destin the next big event was my birthday! Many know how I love my birthday and my good friends certainly came through in a big way. Two in particular went out of their way to make my birthday a fun celebration of fun firsts. Kristen and Becky knew that I had a year of some very difficult 'firsts' without Jason, so they thought it would be fun to celebrate my birthday by doing things I had never done that were FUN! Indeed they were! I was most surprised by all of them and most caught off guard, but a good time was had for sure. I am so blessed to not only have Becky and Kristen in my life, but several other really amazing friends. I am so thankful! I am including some pictures of the fun firsts...

My first massage...Why have I never done this before??? Loved it!

My first dinner at a great new restaurant in Jackson...The Auditorium. Yum!

My first trip to the Collins Zoo! Ha! For those that frequent Hwy 49N heading to Jackson
know this place is quite unusual and not many have actually been behind the pink walls!Hilarious! It definitely should rank up there with the San Diego zoo! ;)

My very first motorcyle ride! Even more hilarious, but I absolutely loved it!
This kind man in the picture is a friend of Kristen and her husband, Clay.
He and his wife are in their small group at church. He was a good sport!

*After the fun firsts birthday, it was time to begin getting ready for school. Boo! Summer is always so fun, but with school comes fall and I love the fall because that means FOOTBALL season! Yay!

We are now trying to settle into a new routine since I have returned to work and Anna Lea to school. I must admit that it has been a little more overwhelming than I originally expected, but once again God's grace is enough! It's not the job itself that is overwhelming, but just finding time to do all I need to do as well as want to do. I am still totally in debt to my mom who continues to amaze me with all she does in caring for my children. I told someone the other day to skip praying for me and pray for Nancy! If she goes down, Stephanie goes down! No joking here!

Emotionally I am doing pretty good right now. I still have lots of moments where the grief is just so heavy, but overall my Lord continues to amaze me in the way He is caring for me. Right now it seems like weekends are the hardest. This is a time that Jason was always home and we were always together as a family. I have always enjoyed going and doing on Friday and Saturday nights, but with just me and the kids, I tend to just stay home as it is most difficult getting out with 3 on my own. In time, I am confident that even this will get better.

I am certain my Lord is still working for good in my life. Sadly I must admit that sometimes I wish He would pull back the curtain for a glimpse of what was to come, but this is where I have to rest in Him and continue to trust that His promises ARE true! "For we know that ALL things work together for good for those that love Him..." Not just SOME, but ALL! To Him be the glory!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

New Routine Begins Tomorrow...

I'm back. Well, not fully, but I am back for a brief entry. I promise more to come in the coming days, but tonight I am just asking for prayer. Tomorrow a whole new routine starts for us. Anna Lea returns to school...2nd grade! Wow. Many emotions tonight in my house. Excitement, nerves and the obvious...all without Jason. Tonight during the blessing before dinner, Anna Lea asked God to please tell her daddy that she was starting the 2nd grade tomorrow. She also asked God to tell her daddy how much she loved and missed him. It's so hard to listen to these type of prayers. I generally say nothing...mainly because tears are usually flowing.

Another part of our new routine is I am going back to work full time. I am returning to Oak Grove Primary School, where I worked in the spring, but this time I will be working every day. I am most anxious as to how all of this will work out, but I know my God will continue to supply my every need. I am more than grateful to my mom, who will be keeping Jon Brent and Ally while I am away. She will also have the responsibility of getting Anna Lea to and from school each day as I won't be home until 3:00 p.m. each day and I have to leave each morning before Anna Lea leaves.

This is where I need you...yet again. Will you please pray for an easy adjustment to working full time again? Will you pray for my sweet mom who is sacrificing her life for me and the children? Will you also pray for my kids as they transition once again? My emotions are roaring tonight for many reasons, but I continue to lean heavily on a BIG and GOOD God.

Sunday our pastor preached from a wonderful passage of scripture found in 1 Peter. Once again our Lord knew I needed these exact words.

1 Peter 1: 3-9

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

I am so incredibly thankful for my salvation. I am so blessed by God's word. He's at work and I so want to be used by Him!

Thank you in advance for your prayers!

P.S. Thanks so much for the birthday messages...both here and facebook. I do love my birthday...more to come on that later! :)

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone join me in wising her a very happy birthday! Please!

A biological friend who views her as a hero.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

What's on Your Bucket List?

(Scott here.) On July 10, 2008, the greatest man I have ever known entered Heaven’s gate.

Stephanie asked prior to the anniversary of J’s passing, on this and other venues, for everyone’s memories and stories about Jason during his 33 years on this Earth. I was comforted and blessed by reading those recounts and seeing those pictures, and I can only imagine how much it comforted and blessed Steph. I abstained from offering my memories until this point, but my most lasting memory is more about his impact than any particular event or circumstance.

In 2004, Tim McGraw released a song named "Live like you were Dying." He refers to what for Jason was January 7, 2008. He talks of someone who gets news that "this might be the end." We all had unceasing faith and hope on January 7 and until July 10th, but as I read Internet site after site, I realized on that first day that "this might be the end." The ugly L-word is ugly for a reason.

McGraw’s song is powerful as he recounts all that his father did when he got the news that the end was near. In a powerful way, he recounts the "bucket list" of his father. (Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman made the "bucket list" term famous in the 2007 movie by the same title that was about what they wanted to do when faced with death. )

McGraw’s dad went skydiving, he went rocky mountain climbing, and he went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu. He loved deeper, and he spoke sweeter. He gave forgiveness that he’d been denying. All the while, he hoped that others would get the chance to LIVE LIKE THEY WERE DYING. But for the subject of the song, he had to find out he WAS dying to live like he was dying.

From the beginning of his illness, Jason was far too ill to go skydiving or to ride a bull, but I doubt he would have even if he physically could have. Instead, he spent the next 6 months fighting for his life, getting to know his Heavenly Father even better and loving his family every chance he got and in every way he possibly could. To me though, the last six months were almost inconsequential as it relates to his bucket list.

J’s lasting legacy and my most precious memory is that he lived every day from the day I met him living "like he was dying." I remember on July 12th, 2008 listening to Paul Koonce, Scott Hall, Dr. Ronnie Kent, Dr. Nagan Bellare and my amazing pop celebrate Jason’s life by pointing all those in attendance to live like Jason lived. Jason lived every day from the moment he gave his life to Christ like he was dying. He knew, like most of us claim to know, that every moment was precious. He lived fulfilling his "bucket list" for many years prior to learning that the end may be near.

He didn’t sky dive or ride a bull, but he loved my sister like she was the only woman on Earth. He adored his children, and his massive arms could calm even a colic baby – not only due to their size, but primarily because all three of his children could feel the unceasing love in his grasp. Every friend he ever had from every walk you could imagine looked up to him due to his convictions and the way he lived his life. He loved his friends in such an unconditional way that he had no enemies. These are but the surface. As you dig deeper into Jason Weathers’ life, you see even more how he lived every day like he was dying.

My desired bucket list is simple. I want to live like I am dying in the same way Jon Jason Weathers did every day of his life.

I miss you J. I will always love you sis. May God continue to bless those precious children. As Dr. Kent pointed out during J’s celebration service, Psalms 112 promises us that blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in His command. His children will be mighty in the land. Because of this, I know that great things await Anna Lea, Jon Brent and Ally. I rest assured in these words.

God bless Jon Jason Weathers during this anniversary month. I can’t wait to see him one day. (J, put in a good word for your brother and me. We need it.)


Saturday, July 11, 2009


Giants by Mike Madaris, Written 7/12/08, upon the coronation & homegoing of Jason Weathers.

Giants still walk the land occasionally.
I know this, because I knew one.
Physically strong and imposing
But that’s not the topic here,
For, he was not fearsome
Unless you lined up opposite him
On a football field
Or tried to throw him into a pool against his will.
Those aside, He got along with everybody.
Literally, everybody, as far as I knew.
Calm of demeanor, yet loved to laugh.
Quiet in personality, yet loved hard rock.
Intelligent, but not desiring to flaunt that.
Private, yet the son of a very public man
And later, married into another very public family.
In the midst of all, he was a giant.

The courtship. She was the only one.
They met when her Dad took a job at the giant’s church.
And his Dad’s. And his Granddad’s.
The realizing came quickly to most.
These two were a match.
They realized it too.
The courtship lasted until they finished college.
And he remained a giant.
Always loving, yet always honoring.
Serving. Cherishing. As it was intended to be.
Role models. Giants.
Who else marries a giant, but another giant after all?

10 years of marriage. A move to FL.
3 children deeply treasured.
One looks like her mother, yet like Dad in temperament.
One looks like his Dad, yet tempered like his mother.
And one too young to answer these questions
Though she surely looks like her Dad.
Each nurtured. Treasured. Celebrated.
Giants are like that about their offspring.

A servant’s heart.
Toward his lady. Toward his children.
Toward his friends. Toward his Lord.
Church service involved the out of the way
The behind the scenes
The un-glamorous
The invisible.
Sometimes giants stay in the background.
Perhaps that is why so few of us believe in them any more.

The servant heart spilled over into career choice.
Especially poignant to me this week
As I have been greatly served and blessed by multiple nurses
As a patient, I say the best in that field are wired as servants.
Others-centered. Paycheck almost incidental.
Towering over the rest of us.

The dreadful disease with the nasty prognosis
The treatment nearly as nasty
Uncertainty. Doubt. Fear.
In his case, for others more than self
Beloved wife and treasured children.
Parents. Parents-in-law. Brother. Brother-in-law.
Not wanting to burden others with the battle he fought so well.
The larger men among us worry about us like that.
7 months of desperate fighting.
Interspersed with time spent with family and with lesser mortals.
Like me. At Starbucks.
Still dreaming of an earthly future that would never be.
Then the end; rather, the beginning.
What, after all, is a last, horrendous week against 30+ years of a towering-above life?
Faith became sight.
Death & disease forever vanquished.
Healing. No more illness, no more treatment, no more pain.
“Well Done, good and faithful servant.”
The stuff of dreams. Thankfully, not of legends.

Hopes and dreams realized.
Sin not only defeated, but now utterly removed.
As has been sung, "I can only imagine." He need not imagine any more.
This makes me smile through tears.
Victory won. Decisively. Forever.
It is well…it is well with his soul.
In that land, there are only giants. Now one more.
And this land seems all the more empty.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Remembering Jason's Life

Two days in a row! I am not sure how that has happened, but here I am! Today I had a couple of hours of what I would consider down time. Anna and Jon Brent, along with Ross who has been staying with us for a few days, had gone to the Brent's to hang with this precious family for the day. What a treat for my crew and for me! Anyway, while Ally and I were spending some time together, I found myself totally consumed with the loss of Jason. I was remembering all that took place the last week of his life. I was focusing on all the dreams we had together that were never fulfilled. I was looking at how much Ally had changed since Jason saw her last and thinking how they both had missed out on each other. It was one of those moments where I was totally paralyzed with grief.

I decided at that particular moment I needed to focus not on his death and all the things that didn't take place rather I should focus on his life and all the wonderful things that did take place. I needed to focus on all the years where leukemia didn't mandate our conversations or our thoughts. Even the good memories can be tough to focus on, but MUCH easier than what we actually faced the week he died as well as the six months leading up to it.

So, tonight I need your help. I wrote a status on facebook asking for YOUR memories of Jason. I have so enjoyed all that so many have shared. Many on facebook and several more through email. I sat Anna Lea down tonight and read a few to her. It did my heart good to see her smile while hearing the things so many remembered about her daddy. Please take a moment and share a memory you might have of sweet Jason. You may comment on this blog, my personal email ( or facebook.

More to come from me in the next few days...of this I am certain! Our God is at work and I am a recipient of His goodness. He is faithful even in the darkest of times. I press on knowing He is working for my good!

This is the week

This is the week that I have been dreading for so long, yet at the same time I have wanted it to come and go quickly. Have I mentioned how tricky grief really can be? July 12th marks the one year anniversary of Jason's death. This time last year I had no idea that this would be the week that Jason's life would end. I knew he was very sick. I knew he was most weary of fighting this horrific disease, but I had no idea what would unfold on the afternoon of July 9th. (Respiratory failure due to chemo induced pneumonia which then caused Jason to go into cardiac arrest.) I spent over an hour reading Jason's caring bridge site tonight...specifically the entries written this week. To say that was difficult is a huge understatement. So incredibly painful to relive, but for some reason I felt the need to do it. I will be writing more than usual this week and I thank you for the opportunity to simply share my heart. Tonight I wanted to share an entry I wrote on July 6, 2008. I continue to be amazed at how God works even in my pain. To Him be the glory...

It's about 11:45 p.m. and I had no intention of updating tonight, but I am up with lots on my mind. Not sure if those who are reading this day to day realize this, but writing in this journal is therapy for me. Pretty cheap therapy, too. News flash... I am not a great writer, not even a good writer, but I write here b/c in some ways it helps me. So... it is almost midnight and I need therapy.

In less than 15 minutes it will have been exactly 6 months since we started this bend in the road. Six months and right now there is no end in sight. I think this is the hardest part of this journey is not knowing when this will come to an end. I shared with someone recently that if we just knew we had to endure this for ___ number of months, we could all press on a lot easier. Those of you following Mississippi news might have seen the well known attorney's son that was sentenced to 14 months in federal prison. I noticed that this individuals wife is pregnant. My heart broke for her at first, however, then in an instant I wanted to call her and tell her what my life has been like the last 6 months and then encourage her that she could get through these next 14 months b/c she knows exactly when her nightmare would end. Call me selfish, I guess. I know God chooses not to show us how our life will unfold and in some ways I am thankful, but in other ways I wish I knew.

My heart hurts so much for Jason. He feels so lousy and right now he has nothing to look forward to because as soon as he starts to feel better he'll have to go right back to FGH and do it all over again. Please right now pray for relief for Jason. He's tired and weary. He's lost that twinkle in his eye. He tries to smile, but it's an empty smile. I miss my husband. I miss just hanging out talking about things other than medicine, blood sugars, chemo, body temperature, etc. I miss that sweet smile and laugh of his. I miss the way he interacts with the kids. I miss the way he is normally SO hands on with them. I just miss the things that this horrible disease is suppressing right now. I know that those of you that have watched a love one fight through something like this know exactly what I am talking about. Please pray that Jason will begin to feel better and soon. I need him! The kids need him! God is teaching me so much about patience right now. Obviously, after "hearing" my heart tonight you know that I haven't mastered the WAIT word. We're all tired, Lord. Give us all the strength and the perseverance to get through the rest of this journey.

We need MORE of you, Jesus!

I am even more convinced that our Lord was not only preparing me for Jason's departure from this earth, but He was also preparing Jason. He was tired of all that he was having to experience. I am so thankful to our Lord for never giving us an ounce more of what we can handle. His promises are true day after day. I had no idea that the night I wrote these words that Jason's journey would come to an end 6 days later.

I miss Jason so much and wish so badly things could have turned out differently for all of us, but His word continues to bring me great comfort. Our Lord heard my hearts cry on this day last year. He knew we were all tired. He did give us the strength to press on and He still showed up BIG and continues to do so even today. I have so many thoughts this week. So many emotions. Thanks for allowing me to share them here. Thanking all of you in advance for praying our family through this week.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Vacation Time

Yesterday began the annual beach vacation with my family and Ashley's (sister in law) family. Ashley and I left Hattiesburg with all 5 children yesterday morning. We made several memories just driving down! We were the first to arrive while all the rest are coming at different intervals throughout the week. The 2 most helpful arrived today...the grandmothers! We are most thankful for Nana and Mo! Don't get me wrong, we are also very thankful for the grandfathers, who will be arriving later.
My usual type blog entry to follow later this week, but tonight I just thought I'd take a few minutes and share just a sample of the fun that is being had thus far. I am so incredibly thankful for this fun time and looking forward to the rest of the week as the entire family makes their way to join us. My very favorite and beach!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

How Deep the Father's Love for Us

Father's many thoughts and even more emotions. I have hurt deeply for my children this weekend as I hate so badly that their earthly father is no longer with them. Thankfully they don't hurt like me. I have shed many tears over the last several days as Father's Day has drawn near. I have also reflected on how blessed I am on this Father's Day weekend.

My dad has been a rock for me all of my life, but most especially since Jason's diagnosis and death. During the entire 6 months that Jason battled leukemia, my dad was so incredibly strong for me. He was always there. I don't say that to sound cliche' rather that statement best describes who Gary Shows is. He was so faithful to visit me and Jason in the hospital. He was always more than willing to stay with him in order to give me and Brad a break. (Even though Jason preferred Brad as sometimes my dad was known to snore and keep Jason awake! haha!) Every time we heard bad news from Dr. Bellare, he was always first to arrive on the scene. His mere presence brought me great comfort. He was with me (along with Sherri) in ICU the morning after Jason went into cardiac arrest. We arrived at 5:30 a.m. only to hear from the ICU physician that based on his initial assessment, he did not believe Jason had any brain activity, but that further testing would be done just to be certain. I wanted to collapse and I could because my dad was there to pick me up and hold me close. My dad has officiated many funerals in his ministry and I am sure having to conduct Jason's was the most difficult one he's ever had to do, yet he did it so willingly. Just knowing he was in that role brought me HUGE comfort. He has stepped up to the plate with my children like they were his very own. Although he jokes with me sometimes about his added responsibilities since Jason's death, (mainly my yard and sometimes the extra kids spending the night at his house:) I know he loves me and the kids with an unconditional love. I know that at any time of need, he is just a phone call away. He certainly gets MANY phone calls, too! :) I am so blessed to have him as my dad. There is so much more to say about him, but the most important thing I can say about him is his steadfast love for our Heavenly Father. His love for Him has been passed down to me and now to my children. What a legacy!

Even as I hurt for my children because they can't celebrate Father's Day with their earthly father, I am reminded that we ALL can celebrate our Heavenly Father on this day. His love for us is more than we can even comprehend sometimes and even greater than any earthly Father could ever give. For that I am thankful. So, Happy Father's Day to my dad as well as the ultimate Father!

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
And make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

P.S. Happy Father's Day to Uncle Brad, Uncle Scott, Papa, and Bob-B, too. Thank you for standing in the gap for Anna Lea, Jon Brent and Ally. I am MOST appreciative for your love and sacrifice to them. :)

Saturday, June 13, 2009

(Recent photos of the kids before VBS two mornings)

I have sat down to blog over the last several days (usually late at night), but each time I would begin I just couldn't do it. It's been a very busy week because of Vacation Bible School, which was great, but it has also been a very difficult week for me. I say often that grief is really tricky and the last 10 days have been just that. I had just told my good friend Mary Margaret last Friday that I really felt I was doing so much better emotionally. Anyway, I can recognize several factors causing this week to be rough, but I think a lot of it is the fact that we are approaching July 12th. A year.

Last Sunday our pastor preached a sermon on raising children. As I sat and listened I became so overwhelmed with the task before me in raising my children without their daddy. I was so overwhelmed that the tears began to flow and I couldn't stop them. I kept asking the Lord, "how can I do this alone?" The responsibility is tremendous. This week I was reminded of something someone told me once..."if He calls you to it, He'll equip you to do it." My Lord has called me to a life without my husband so once again I must trust that He'll equip me to raise these children without him. I hurt deeply as I listened to our pastor talk about how important it was for a daddy to "date" his daughter(s) in order to prepare them on how they were to be treated one day. Jason was so good at spending one on one time with Anna Lea and did it quite frequently. (Unfortunately, he never really got to do this with Ally.) Once again my heart broke as I thought about Anna Lea and Ally not having their daddy model to them how a man should treat a woman. During the invitation it was as if the Lord quietly whispered in my heart, "I will be the father to the fatherless..." (Psalm 68:5 - "Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.") What a promise! How I am clinging to this very promise right now!

I have been following several individuals who had been battling AML over the last year and a half. Over the last 2 weeks, three of these individuals have lost their battle with this nasty disease. On Tuesday night, I learned that yet another one of them relapsed for a 3rd time. Once again my heart broke. I hurt so deeply for these families as I know the dark valley they will have to walk through in the coming days. As I thought about their loss as well as my own, I began to ponder God's ways. Once again, I was reminded His ways are NOT our ways.
Isaiah 55:8-9
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
His thoughts are so much HIGHER than ours. I believe with everything within me that He is sovereign and that ultimately His plan is far better than mine. If I don't believe that then I might as well pull the covers over my head and not ever get out of bed. He is my ONLY hope! Why did Jason Weathers have to die at 33 and leave a wife and 3 small children? I may never know, but one thing I do know is that we were put on this earth for HIS glory. Yes, it hurts deeply. More than I ever thought possible, but through it all He does sustain me. He loves me with an everlasting love even when I question His ways.
There have been moments this week that I have thought I can't possibly take this pain anymore... only to be encouraged by a text message, facebook message, or friends for lunch/dinner. I am SO blessed to have such GREAT friends who never seem to grow weary of their 'needy' friend these days. Our Lord is using all of these ways to keep me going and for that I am so incredibly thankful.
A friend of mine and Jason's sent me an email the other day with the lyrics to a song that blessed me so much. Indeed I needed these words at the very moment he sent them, too. (Another way God worked.) I want to share them with you, but I also want you to hear the song. Please click on the link...HERE
The video that goes with the song isn't all that great, but the song is so good.
The Valley Song by Jars of Clay
You have led me to the sadness
I have carried this pain
On a back bruised, nearly broken
I'm crying out to you
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
When death like a Gypsy
Comes to steal what I love
I will still look to the heavens
I will still seek your face
But I fear you aren't listening
Because there are no words
Just the stillness and the hunger
For a faith that assures
Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia
While we wait for rescue
With our eyes tightly shut
Face to the ground using our hands
To cover the fatal cut
And though the pain is an ocean
Tossing us around, around, around
You have calmed greater waters
Higher mountains have come down (my FAVORITE part!)

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Anna Lea's blog

Anna Lea and I spent a few minutes this a.m. on the porch just talking about Jason. Jon Brent was busy playing with something and Ally was napping at my moms. We had a great talk. Laughed some and cried more. She misses Jason so much, but overall she really is doing remarkable. I am so thankful to our Lord for this. She really loves "making up" stories in her journal so after our talk, I asked her if she wanted to write something about her daddy for me to include in the blog. She was MOST eager. It took her a long time, but she seemed to really enjoy it. I only helped her spell a few words. Well, maybe more than a few, but who's counting! This is a small glimpse into her little mind in regards to her daddy.

This is Anna Lea.

Me and my daddy always watched movies together. And then we would take a nap. I love my daddy because he was sweet. I think about daddy every night. Once me and daddy went to eat together at panera bread and we had so much fun. We would go on dates like that together a lot. He took me to lots of movies. Just me and him. Mom would stay with Jon Brent when he was a baby. I am sad that he can't take me on dates anymore. A couple of days ago I dreamed that daddy came back to earth. He could not stay long then he went back to heaven. He looked the same but he had hair. Just like he used to have. Hair on the sides. He said Anna Lea I love you. I am so glad to see you again. Then Ally walked in the room and said daddy! Jon Brent ran and hugged daddy. My mom came in the room and she was crying. That was all about my dream. I am so glad that I had a daddy like him. I miss him so much. I miss his hugs. I miss him being around me a lot. I miss all of the silly things he did. I miss the silly things mom would get on to him about. I miss playing on the computer with my daddy. We would play games and listen to fun music. Daddy's favorite music was Jimmy Buffet and my favorite music was Wake Up by Hillary Duff. We would turn it up loud and dance and mommy would get mad because sometimes the music was rock and roll. It would be so loud. It was fun. I miss daddy so much. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I smile when I think about him. I hope he misses me. I know I will see him again one day. That makes me really happy.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Happy 4th Birthday, Jon Brent

Four years ago tonight sweet Jon Brent Weathers was preparing to make his grand entrance into the world. I woke up around 3 a.m. that Saturday, May 28, because I couldn't sleep as I was most uncomfortable. Shortly after I awoke, I realized that it was time to head to the water broke! I woke Jason and told him that it was time to go and his response was, "are you sure?" Of course I was sure! At 7:53 a.m. Jon Brent arrived! So perfect with such pretty lips and his daddy's nose. Actually, everything about him looked like Jon Jason! See for yourself:

We were so very excited that God saw fit to give us this beautiful baby boy. Jason was most proud to be a daddy to a son and immediately began calling Jon Brent his buddy. He really was the most perfect baby. He would just sit and look around as if to be taking the world in around him. It wasn't until he was about 9 months old that his real personality started to shine. His expressions were and continue to be so animated and his love for life is HUGE. He is somewhat sensitive and can become emotional if/when life doesn't go his way, but he gets that honestly from me. He is much like his daddy in that he loves order with his things. He likes for everything to be in their place. Even when he eats a snack he sometimes will line the food on his plate in perfect order. The older he gets, the more he looks like Jason. What a blessing! He does have my brown eyes, but all other features are more like his daddy's. One of the most unique traits of Jon Brent is his voice. He only knows one volume and that is LOUD! Jon Brent lives life LOUDLY! Jason was much like this as well...ha! Those that knew Jason well know that is a joke for sure.

Lots has happened in the life of this sweet little boy over the last 4 years. A move to Naples, Jason's diagnosis of leukemia, a move back to Hattiesburg, the birth of a baby sister, and less than 2 months after his 3rd birthday, the death of his sweet daddy. Jon Brent has remained such a joy to all of us during all of these MAJOR transitions. He talks of his daddy daily. He remembers some things about Jason on his own and loves it when I remind him of special things his daddy would do with him. He asks lots of questions about why Jason had to go to heaven, but he is always accepting of all the unknowns. He believes with his whole heart that Jason rides motorcycles in heaven!!! Ha! I have no idea where he comes up with such things...

I strolled down memory lane tonight looking at pictures of the last four years of Jon Brent's life to include in this entry. I hope you enjoy looking back with me.

Happy Birthday, Jon Brent! Thank you for the JOY you have brought and continue to bring into my life. I am so blessed to be your mom. I can't wait to see what God has in store for you! I pray you will always choose the path of righteousness. I pray you will love God's word deeply and seek Him all the days of your life. I love you THIS much! :)

Monday, May 18, 2009

His sovereignty

Not a long entry tonight...just wanted to share something I have read and re-read and certainly can cling to each and every day. Before I begin, thank you for still hanging with me on this blog. I'd really like to write more, but with 3 kids, time just doesn't permit. Usually when I do sit down to write, it is after 10:00 p.m. My eyes begin to fail me at this point of the day! I will say it is still an incredible blessing to me that you still share in my journey. I do joke about this being therapy for me, but it really is such a great outlet for me.

As I look back over the last year and a half, I stand amazed at the journey. I stand amazed at our Lord! His hand at work still blows my mind even in my deepest pain. Last week I spent some time with one of my very best friends, who lives out of town. God bless her for her faithfulness to me each and EVERY time I text or call, which has been numerous over the last 11 months especially. We had spent almost the entire day together when she commented on how we both had made it through the day without a major breakdown. Please don't misunderstand...the loss of Jason and his memory was discussed continually. I was somewhat taken back and even asked her if she thought that was normal.

I knew the answer to that question, but for a brief moment I was somewhat worried. Why would I worry about this? It is yet just another way of how my God is ever present and is continually healing and mending my heart. I still miss Jason more than words can express and sometimes my emotions are all over the map, but He remains faithful and His grace is always sufficient.

I know after Jason died, but less and less now, I would replay every medical decision during his illness and especially the last 4 days of his life. I would allow myself to play the "what if" game. You know the game.
What if MD Anderson or UAB would have done this or that?
What if I would have insisted that he stay in the hospital with the pneumonia?
What if I would have stayed with Jason on the day he went into cardiac arrest rather than taking the kids swimming?

You get the point. I have had to take these thoughts captive each and every time. Not only have I had to take each thought captive, I've had to say aloud, "Lord, I trust your sovereignty."

The excerpt below is taken from Beth Moore's, Praying God's Word:
My God is in heaven, He does whatever pleases Him. (Psalm 115:3) Lord, sometimes my only answer will be that You are sovereign. Your word says that the death of Your saints is absolutely precious to You. (Psalm 116:15) One day I will have the answers. Until then, I must trust that You have power and dominion over all things and that You know best. Help me to believe this even when I don't feel this.

Regardless if any of those "what if" questions could be answered differently, my God is in complete control. NONE of what we endured while Jason was sick took Him by surprise. I love the last sentence of the excerpt. There have been many days that just saying that I trusted His sovereignty has been tough. However, IF I can't cling to His sovereignty then I might as well throw in the towel. Praise God He always shows up during these moments of little faith and gives me just a small glimpse of His sovereign hand. One day we'll all know why we have to endure such pain on earth, but until then may we all trust that through it all His will is being accomplished --- to become more like Him! Oh, that because of this journey, I'd look a little more like Jesus.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Happy Mother's Day, Mom

Proverbs 31:15-31

She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Mother's Day. I am certainly thankful for a day set aside to honor my mother. I am going to attempt in a very small way to honor her for all she does for me. Nancy Shows is like no other. I call her the Energizer Bunny...she keeps going and going and going and going! Most of her "going" now revolves around my needs. Scott would tell you that I have always dominated her, but I will admit that has definitely been the case over the last year and a half. When Jason got sick, she stepped into overdrive and hasn't stopped. I did excuse her for 5 days when she and my dad went to the beach back in September. Everything fell apart while she was gone so I informed her that she couldn't do that again for a while! Ha!

Every night she calls me and asks, "what do you need me to do for you tomorrow?" No joke! It's almost embarassing to even admit! :) On the days that I work, she arrives at my house at 7:45 a.m. to care for Jon Brent and Ally. Not only does she take care of them, but most days I come home to a "Nancy" clean house along with the laundry washed and folded. Those of you who know my mom well know what "Nancy" cleans means. NO ONE cleans like my mom. And guess what? I didn't inherit that gene!

She willingly gave up a career last year that she loved and excelled in tremendously in order to help me with the kids. The origianal reason she planned to retire early was so that she could take care of the kids while I cared for Jason when he received the bone marrow transplant in Birmingham. The transplant never came, but I certainly couldn't have made it ONE without my mom after Jason died. God knew I needed a mom like Nancy Shows for such a time as this!

The financial sacrifice she makes DAILY for me and my family are more than appreciated. As many moms do, she does without so that we don't have to! The love and time she gives my kids is unbelievable.

I know she never dreamed at this stage of her life that she would be doing what she is doing, but I praise God DAILY for her. She is a rock for me. She is always there. She keeps on keeping on for me even when I am at my lowest and not the most fun to be around. She gets the good, the bad, and the ugly. I know she grows very weary and I pray CONTINUALLY that our Lord would sustain her.

As I re-read Proverbs 31 today, I was once again reminded how this passage truly describes Nancy Shows. Mom, Happy Mother's Day. I hope you understand how incredibly thankful I am for you. I hope you know that not a SINGLE days goes by that I don't thank our Lord that he saw fit to bless me with a mom like you. Thank you for all you do. Thank you most importantly for loving Jesus more than me and continually pointing me to Him! The life you live has to be most pleasing to our Lord. Oh, to be more like you! I know that would certainly make your life easier! ha! I love you MUCH! May God bless you over and over!

1. Thank you Scott and Ashley for being so understanding that I do dominate Nana so much. One day I pray I won't be so needy! :)

2. Also, thanking God for Mrs. Peggy this weekend. So thankful that she raised such wonderful boys in Jason as well as Brad. I know this Mother's Day will be hard for her as it her first Mother's Day without J. Praying you through this day, Mrs. Peggy.