Wednesday, November 12, 2008

November 12


Today, November 12th, Jason would have been 34 years old. I assure you last year when we celebrated his birthday, we never dreamed it would be his last here. I was trying to remember exactly what we did to celebrate the day. What did we do to celebrate his very last birthday on this earth?


Allow me to reminisce... we ate at one of his favorite restaurants in Naples. Hurricane Grill. Naples has some of the most fabulous eateries, but we didn't get frequent those places too often. One reason is Jason was in graduate school, therefore we were on a very tight budget and another reason was we had 2 small kids! The Hurricane Grill is a very casual establishment that served the best boneless wings in town. The hotter the better for Jason. We frequented this place so often that we became acquaintances with the owner. He was from New Orleans so we always enjoyed talking about places we were all familiar with... this always made us feel close to home.
After a great meal we went home for birthday cake that was prepared by none other than Anna Lea. A homemade "funfetti" cake. This was Anna Lea's favorite and thus became Jason's favorite. The cake was so good that Jason consumed almost half of it ALONE in 2 days. I tried to make him feel bad about this since he was a diabetic, but his response was always, "it's my birthday, leave me alone!" And so I did only after I nagged him about it no less than hundred times. After cake, we put the kids to bed and decided to watch a movie, a favorite hobby of Jason's. We watched Hitch. We had seen this movie numerous times, but since most of the movies Jason owned were "kill 'em up dead" movies, this would fit my taste as well. That's all I really remember about his last birthday. That makes me even more sad. How I wish I would have savored the day a little longer. How I wish now that I would have INSISTED that he let me take his picture! (The picture above was taken close to his birthday, but not on actual day.)
November 12th will always be a day I will celebrate even though my pain is so incredibly great this year. I am forever a better person because of Jon Jason Weathers. I am so thankful that the Lord saw fit for our paths to cross and then allowed me the honor of being his wife for 10 years. I am blessed beyond measure to be the mother of his children. Although the task seems daunting right now without him, I am so thankful to our Savior for these little Jason's that are in my possession.
November 12th also marks exactly four months since Jason's passing. Four months...sometimes it seems like forever while other times it seems like just yesterday. I took some flowers to the cemetery on Monday with Jon Brent and Ally. (Anna Lea was in school still.) I don't really frequent the cemetery all that often. Not sure why, but for now it doesn't really comfort me to visit. Maybe one day it will, but for now I pretty much avoid going. Jon Brent was unusually quiet during the visit. I guess he was just taking it all in or as much as a 3 year old mind can take in. I sat Ally on the grass as I just quietly sat looking at both of them. They both have changed so much in four months. Especially Ally. My heart hurt so very much looking at their innocent faces. I hurt for them in that they don't get the benefits of having Jason walk with them through all life will throw at them. I had to continue to remind myself that He does have a plan and that His word promises us that He will work this for our good. I must be honest and say at that moment I couldn't see the good, but only fill the enormous hurt. I gave those feelings immediately to Jesus. All of them. I find myself having to do that sometimes on a daily basis. Who am I kidding? Sometimes an hourly basis.
I have thought a lot as to how we should spend today. I have even asked the kids as to how they want to celebrate daddy's birthday. Anna Lea wants to bake the funfetti cake. Jon Brent... well, when I asked him, his response was, "I want to go to Target and get a race car." This is how Jon Brent would spend every day! So, I am not exactly sure as to how the day will unfold, but I covet your prayers. Yes, it is just another day without sweet Jason, but a significant day nonetheless.
As I contemplate our day without Jason, I am also thinking of how he is spending his first birthday in heaven. My dear Mammaw's birthday was yesterday so I hope the two of them are having one fabulous celebration together. However, I imagine everyday is a fabulous celebration in heaven. So, Happy Birthday, sweet Jason. I know this one will be the best one for you ever and that thought brings me such comfort.
"Still"
Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me within your mighty hand
Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God
Words by Reuben Morgan

13 comments:

Jessica said...

praying for you today! I love that song... especially "find rest my soul in Christ alone." Really, I don't know why we try to look to other things to help us through daily life. He is the only one who can comfort our every need. I hate that you are having to go through this, Stephanie, but God is using you to minister to many hearts! I hope you have a sweet day today!

Anonymous said...

I hope in the midst of this day, which will no doubt be hard & sad, you find a little joy in remembering other birthdays of Jason.

I'm getting a kick out of thinking back to that time I threw him a mini surprise party for him when ya'll lived in Foxgate Apts. You just kept saying, "But I'M your friend! You've never thrown me a surprise party!" And from that time on I would make a huge deal out of Jason's birthday & pretend to forget yours. Ah. Good times. Good times.

Hope you find some joy in remembering those times. Still praying for you & the entire family. Much love, Kristen

Anonymous said...

The Weathers family is on my heart today as you experience Jason's birthday without him. I know they are dancing in his honor today in heaven....I picture lots of dancing and joy there. And I know he would not choose to return to this earth after experiencing real life. So my prayers today are of thanksgiving that Jason has received his reward from our Father and of love and sympathy for each of you as you miss him especially on his special day and long for him to be here. You are truly an amazing family and you are a wonderful example of a loving family of faith. Thank you for including so many of us in your journey.

The Metz Family said...

Stephanie-
I so enjoy reading your updates. I know that it must be hard for you to type those words,but I am so glad that you do. We will all remember Jason today. You know, i often think of you, and your three babies, and just wonder what yall are doing. During those times, I say a prayer that you know that we all continue to be here for you in anyway that you would need. It was so wonderful to see you yesterday at the hospital. I hope you and the children will have a good trip.

Tony Merida said...

Stephanie,

I find so much encouragement from your testimony. God's grace is upon you as you endure this grief. I praise God for you every time I see you. I say, "now, there's someone who I hope my girls grow up to be like." (Even though I don't have kids yet!). Please know that I am holding you up in prayer. This Sunday night I will refer to 2 TIm. 4:17-18, "The Lord stood by me and strengthened me... he will bring me safely into his kingdom." It is great to share the certainty of heaven with the Apostle. We will see Christ one day, and worship him along with our beloved. Until that day, may God's marvelous grace be multiplied a thousand times in your life.

Sincerely,

Tony

Unknown said...

Steph - Please know that I am so proud of you. I keep check on your blog. You make me proud of the way you are handling all the firsts. I'm here if you ever need.

Amy said...

I have thought about you all day long. I have prayed for you several times today. Just wanted you to know.

Thank you for your encouragement. You are such a testimony. I tell people your story and ask them to pray. I send them to your blog and I am so proud that you are my friend. Have fun in Disney. I can't wait for December 5th. I know you have so much to share.

I love you, Amy

Erin said...

Stephanie,
So often we all pray for you in our home. I told the girls that today was Jason's birthday and as Bekah prayed, she started singing Happy Birthday to Jason. Then she said that God made Jason a birthday cake.

And as always, thanks for sharing your testimony with us.

Joyfully,
Erin

Anonymous said...

I know that today has been especially lonely, and I am praying for your comfort and your strength. I am so thankful that you have three beautiful children to encourage and inspire you to press forward each day.

Mary Dayne

Anonymous said...

I am thinking of you and praying for you, Stephanie. Your testimony still continues to move me. Sincerely, Emily

her said...

Hope you had a "happy" day Jason! You are so missed and will always be loved down here on this big BLUE marble!

As you can tell Steph is doing well. She is an awesome mother, daughter, friend. Her heart aches to be w/you but knows that her time has been set before the day she was born. She hangs onto every word of God and I know that makes you so proud to have been her husband.

Many family members hurt over loosing you but they also know that they haven't lost you, it's just that you went on a permanent vacation (so to speak) and they are longing to see you again.

Those kid-o's are great! They are proud to be known as a "Weathers Kids." I know that Stephanie and others will continue to tell them about their awesome dad.

So take care up there, (or over there?) your birthday was special today to a few people who are, and forever more will be, close to you.

I bet the cake was YUM-O!

Joy, Debi O.

Marc and Charity said...

Hi Stephanie, I can't remember how I found your blog but I came across it a few months ago. While I cry reading every post, you have encouraged me in many ways. I have no clue what it is like to walk the road you are on, but I have no doubt that God's strength would be the only thing to keep going- much like you. I hope you don't think this is strange to get a comment from someone you've never met, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you and your kids tonight.

Blessings,
Charity

Behind Closed Doors said...

Thank you for sharing Stephanie. I can't imagine the difficulty. I am glad you are resting in the arms of Jesus each minute, though.

I didn't realize Jason loved those types of movies so much! I do too. I wish I had gotten to watch them with him!

Your family is precious. We love you! Scotty