I was going through some old photo albums this afternoon just longing to see Jason. I guess just to be close to him. I have always loved pictures and now am I so incredibly thankful for all the pictures I have of sweet Jason. Sometimes looking at the pictures brings a smile or laugh while other times it is so painful that tears flow without cease. I never know which emotion will take over when looking. Today I went through our honeymoon album. We went to Maui. What an amazing trip! My friends still make fun of me because I called them while we were there. I wanted them to hear the sound of my voice from this most beautiful place! Be gentle, I was young...23. :) Anyway, I ran across a picture that was taken at a luau that we attended. The picture was taken by a professional... you know one of those tourist traps. "You can get this great 8x1o picture for the low price of...!" Of course, Jason and I fell prey. The picture was what I would describe as cute. We were all decked out in our luau attire with sun kissed cheeks. We were so very happy. At the bottom of the picture was printed "The Aloha is Everlasting."
There was that word...everlasting. Part of the name of this blog. Leaning on Everlasting Arms. I started thinking again about that word after seeing it printed on our luau picture. Everlasting is defined as lasting forever; eternal or continuing indefinitely or for a long period of time. Deuteronomy 33:27 says, "The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms." To me everlasting meaning FOREVER He is there. Indefinitely He is there. He has certainly been my refuge even in these really tough days.
Although He is my EVERLASTING God, I find myself in a very dark place right now. I want so badly to feel real joy again. I know that my God won't leave me here forever. I know my God is a God of healing. He is our Jehovah Rapha and I know my heart will be healed in His time.
I have been reading for over a year now a blog of a young mom who lost her newborn many months ago. She wrote something on grief the other day that struck me and I want to post a little of it.
"Grief is not a place that you park. It is not a destination. I believe that with every season of grieving, Jesus desires us to reach a place of complete, total, life-renewing healing. I don’t have to go through life as one of the walking wounded! Instead, Jesus has given me the freedom to pursue healing, and eventually attain it. I can’t give you an exact day or time—it’s much to gradual for that—but what I can tell you is that now, nearly 10 months later, that the wound is closed, and I feel like the healing is complete."
I am certainly not where she is yet. I don't know when I'll get there, but I know my God will bring healing to my hurting heart. I will wait upon the Lord. As I think about the word everlasting, I am reminded of the song by Chris Tomlin entitled "Everlasting God."
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary
Our God,
You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary
You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles
I will not grow weary because I am weak and He is the defender of the weak! He is comforting me in my greatest time of need. He is my Hope, my Strong Deliverer and He reigns FOREVER. I will wait on Him. He is my Everlasting God and with Him the Aloha IS Everlasting.
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7 comments:
Beautifully written. It's amazing how God is using you to lift others up in the midst of your grief. Thank you for your faith. I continue to pray for you often.
Praying for you all so often in our home.
I am a fried of a friend and want to tell you how inspiring you are! I know you feel like everyday is a struggle right now, but you are obviously right where you should be. God is using you to reach others. Your writing is beautiful and encouraging. I will give my husband an extra hug tonight because of you and I will add you and your sweet family to my prayers. Thank you!
Stephanie, I pray for you and your children often. I can't imagine the pain you must be going through and have gone though. I remember seeing you and Jason together at Temple and how happy you both seemed. You are strong, and you are reaching many people, even if you don't realize it. We are all praying for you. I often think of the underused verse of Amazing Grace: 'through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come. Tis grace that brought me safe this far and grace will bring me home.'
Christy
How beautiful, Mrs. Stephanie! What a great encouragement. I think we all need assurance like that in Christ. I love u and and your family so much and continue to pray for u and your sweet family.
Stephanie,
Still praying for you! I wondered if you and the kids would be up for coming to our Fall Festival on Saturday. I emailed your mom all the details!
~Leslie G.
Steph...funny how as I got to the last paragraph I started singing that very song.. but I love Aloha b/c it means hello, greetings into everlasting!
Of course I imagine eternity to be a place like Hawaii...74 degrees all the time, my mansion is by the beach (of course) and then to hear God say, "Aloha everlasting" WOW!
Thanks for that awesome picturesque reminder of God saying welcome into everlasting!
You are in my prayers! Joy! Debi
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