Thursday, October 16, 2008

Random Thoughts






I have to share a little story about this picture. This was taken August 22, 2007, in Naples after Anna Lea's first day of kindergarten. Jason and I had promised Anna Lea we would take her for ice cream that afternoon when I picked her up from school. Jason's last surgery case finished up just in time to meet us. Anyway, the other day I was looking at pictures downloaded on our computer, which I do regularly these days, and Jon Brent saw this picture. He immediately said, (without me saying a word) "we ate ice cream with daddy in Naples!" One simple statement brought me to tears. Why? Because Jon Brent remembered this small outing without me reminding him anything about it! I am so worried that Jon Brent won't have any memories of his daddy other than the ones I share with him and lo and behold, I was wrong! Who knows what other things he'll remember long term, but I pray the Lord will allow Jon Brent to remember lots of good memories of his daddy.




I am finally beginning to feel 'settled' in our new house. I look around sometimes and think to myself how pleased Jason would have been in this house. He would have especially loved living next door to Brad and Sherri. At times it hurts so deeply thinking of the things he is missing out on, but I am then reminded that WE are the ones missing out. He wouldn't come back to this world after experiencing heaven. I am certain of this. I know I say this a lot, but I miss him so much. I promise I never thought I would hurt this deeply. I didn't know it was possible. I find myself having pity parties quite often here lately, but I read something today that convicted me of doing this very thing. When I find myself in a "woe is me" mood, I need to go straight to the Lord with these feelings. HE can and will change my perspective by just conversing with him. I know He feels and sees my pain.



I want to close by bragging a little on my 89 year old grandmother. Remember the one that so many of you sent a birthday card to back in June? Well, she came and stayed with us for a couple of days to help me get caught up on my ironing. I was over 3 weeks behind. Ugh... Anyway, she literally ironed all day on Wednesday. Not only did she iron, but she did with a glad heart! Amazing she is, simply amazing. Oh, I pray I can one day have a servants heart like she does.




















13 comments:

219helena said...

Another memory made for you and the children...precious.

Anonymous said...

Its really amazing what the little minds remember can can recall. You have such a special little man. What a joy!
As for your Grannie.. does she hire out?
Sweet dreams!
Erin Dobson

Anonymous said...

Oh dear sweet Stephanie, please tell me your wonderful grandmother did not use that iron you have in your laundry room. Girlfriend, that thing is a mess! If she was able to use it at all, much less all day, then she is more amazing than I thought! Tell her I'm getting you a new one for Christmas and that if, for some reason, she has to come back & iron again, she can do it in half the time as before & without all that "spitting" yours does.

I say all of this with love, as you know. Btw, love the rug!
Kristen

Amy said...

WHY do you have that many clothes that need ironing? The dryer is my iron and it works great on most things. Don't tell Nancy.

I pray Jon Brent continues to amaze you with his memories. And, I pray each time you will take in the memory and all of the emotions that they bring.

I felt that same feeling as I walked through your home. Jason would have loved it. Then, I thought also that he loved his new home more. Thanks again for your encouraging words. Love you.

Laurie in Ca. said...

Okay Stephanie,

I am sitting here ready to pop an eyeball as I try to tour your house in the pictures. It looks so bright and cheery. Jon Brent will continue to amaze you with his memories of Jason. Children watch us so closely from the moment they open their eyes for the first time. What a sweetheart your Grandma is to do this for you and I understand her heart completely. If I live to be her age and my grandkids have kids, I will be there too. Only, not ironing, nope, no way!!:) But I will bake cookies and cheesecakes and all the family treasures we all enjoy. The generations of LOVE just grow deeper and sweeter. I am so glad to hear you are beginning to feel settled in your house. I am praying for you as you hurt so deeply missing Jason. I can't imagine it being any other way right now Stephanie, and I hurt for you. Love never dies, it just keeps beating with every beat of our hearts. I am so thankful that God sees and knows your pain and that you run to Him with your broken heart. He will always be there with you. I love you and pray your weekend is blessed in every way.

Hugs, Laurie in Ca.

Anonymous said...

Good morning, Stephanie! What a special grandmother you have--such an unselfish act of love for you & your children!!
I don't know if my experience will ease your mind any about Jon Brent remembering, but I was his age when we lived at Ft. Bragg, NC, during the Korean War. I remember lots of things about that time--children can remember things at a much younger age than a lot of people believe. The funny thing is that I remember very "little" things of that time--things that were important to me. Mother said she & Daddy took my sister and me to see historical things in the area, but I don't remember any of that. I remember seeing my Daddy march in formation--I remember visiting him at the base hospital when he was sick for months. I couldn't go into the ward, so soldiers entertained me in the waiting area. Anyway, you may be surprised what Jon Brent remembers when he is grown up!! I'm going to pray that he will remember the special times.

So glad you are enjoying your new house. You are right that Jason wouldn't want to come back here--I'm sure there is NO ONE who would want to leave heaven. I hope my Daddy has met him and made him feel welcome--I like to think he makes a special effort to greet the "newcomers" just like he did here on earth.

Have a blessed day today, and be so thankful for all the wonderful memories!
Love, Janice Martin

Anonymous said...

I was glad to find out your grandmother was there!! I took her some fresh eggs and when I couldn't find her, I was worried!But then someone said she was in H'burg! She worries about you so much so she was more than glad tohelp out. We still think of you and pray for you every day. Love ya!!

Carly Winborne said...

I love these random thoughts posts. Jason would be so proud to see your obvious love for him, but reliance on Jesus as well. I'm sure he'd laugh at the stacks of ironing as well! (I know my husband does!) I just wish I could send mine to Hattiesburg for your sweet grandmother to tackle! But please don't feel bad about being three weeks behind. Of all the things on your plate, I'd put ironing at the end of the list!

Anonymous said...

I have not checked in for a while. WE have had a lot going on with my in laws. I have been praying for you all. I wish there was someway to get an email about updates on this if there is let me know because that is my reminder to check soemtimes. I hope to catch up on reading your journals in the next few days to see how you all have been doing. But know that I pray and God knows your need whether I do or not. May God Bless You and the children and Keep the Faith. Love and Prayers.
Dave and Sharlene Burgess
sburg321@hotmail.com
Belton, SC 29627

Anonymous said...

Steph:

Ever wonder what Jason is doing each day in Heaven? Mark Lowry said that his Daddy, at Christmas and Thanksgiving, would pray many times before dinner, and he would say, "Lord Jesus, would you pick my Dad up out of the crowd and put your arms around him, and tell him we love him." And, Mark said it was so funny, because his Daddy would then say, "Don't you know Grandpa was surprised when Jesus said, "Come here", puts His arms around him, tells him that He loves him, and that we do too."

Until next week, when I'll share yet another perspective on Heaven by who knows. Until then, never doubt our love for you & yours as we continue to pray for each of you, even now.

See You at "The House"

Uncle D

Anonymous said...

Hey steph,

I have been thinking about you a lot these days!! I am constantly thinking about you and the kids, praying for you every morning when I go for a jog. You know, I dated someone all throughout high school and part of colege. I stay in touch with him regularly and I have put myself in your place every time I think about you and Jason... I know that you don't have many memories before Jason because it was only a few years ago for me and I don't really remember life before Davis. I just admire you in so many ways. You have strength that only comes from the Lord but you also have the most wonderful gift that can only come from a heart of gold! I have read almost EVERYTHING that has been written about you, jason, and your family. I love you so very much!! please know how wonderful you are and how my life in Christ has only grown stronger with every word that I read that you write. Please continue to help me grow by sharing you bad days and good days and how God gets you from one second to another. I love you love you love you!! take care!! Grace Kent

Anonymous said...

I would say that I am mad at grandmother for not ironing my clothes but I also use the dryer for my iron. Watching her iron is something special. I walk in over there and she has the radio on "walk it like a dog" and she was getting down with that iron. No wonder she was tired when she got through.

Jayme said...

You know Stephanie... my mother does the same thing for me when she visits... she irons! It must be an Anderson sister thing? They REALLY know how to iron too.. doesn't it feel good when you put on something Aunt Peggy, your grandmother ironed? I loved the picture... maybe I should get one of my mother doing that - see if they look similar? Love, Jayme