Gosh, it's only Tuesday, but it certainly feels like we are approaching Friday! Moving... why is it absolutely no fun? It never fails how organized you are, moving is always so chaotic. AND it does feel like I just did this 4 months ago... wait, I did. My parents and I packed up all of our belongings in April and hauled them 13 hours in a bright yellow PENSKE and since that date they have been hanging out in a storage room.
The plan as of now is that we will start moving most of our things on Thursday afternoon. Wow, even writing the word our is so difficult. Most all of Jason's things have been boxed up and in a storage facility since our departure from Naples. In some ways I am so looking forward to getting my hands on them and in other ways I dread it like the plague. I described it to someone as a black cloud that is just hanging over my head and I know soon the cloud will open and completely soak me. I am sure there will be many emotions. My prayer is that some of those emotions will be laughter. I am confident that there will be many tears shed, but I pray I can find some joy in his things. Jason liked 'things'. Mainly his 'things' consist of cds, books, and dvds. No surprise to those that knew Jason well. I have laughed and told people that instead of going out and finding a job that I could just open Blockbuster in my house. No joke. Jason loved buying movies. A hobby that I NEVER understood, but one he was most proud of. :) He was something. Sometimes in all of my emotions, I ask God why he blessed me so by being the wife of Jon Jason Weathers. Really.
I was blessed beyond measure. He was incredible. I am such a better person because he was in my life. Oh, how I pray our children will be grow to be like their daddy. I think what grieves me the most about his passing is that they won't learn directly from him. That gentle strength he had can not be taught by me. His kindness to others was amazing. His laid back attitude is something I wish I had. His hugs... well, you've heard me talk of these hugs before, but they were incredible. How I wish I could get a hug right now!
Tonight I was driving from the new house back to my parents house and a song was playing on the radio. I am not sure if I have actually ever listened to the words to this song, but I could SO relate to them. So much that I began to cry. Read below...
Blessed by Rachael Lampa
I may never climb a mountain
So I can see the world from there.
I may never ride the waves
And taste the salty ocean air,
Or build a bridge
That will last a hundred years;
But no matter where the road leads
One thing is always clear...
I am blessed, I am blessed.
From when I rise up in the mornin’,
’Til I lay my head to rest I feel You near me.
You soothe me when I’m weary.
Oh Lord, for all the worst and all the best I am blessed.
All along the road less traveled I
have crawled and I have run.
I have wandered through the wind and rain
Until I found the sun.
The watching eyes ask me why I walk this narrow way...
I will gladly give the Reason
For the hope I have today!
I am blessed, I am blessed.
From when I rise up in the mornin’,
’Til I lay my head to rest I feel You near me.
You soothe me when I’m weary.
Oh Lord, for all the worst and all the best I am blessed!
You’ve given me joy. You’ve given me love.
You give me strength
When I want to give up.
You came from heaven
To rescue my soul...
This is the reason I know, I know... I know I’m blessed,
From when I rise up in the mornin’,
’Til I lay my head to rest,
I feel You near me.
You soothe me when I’m weary.
Oh Lord, for all the worst and all the best I am blessed!
For the worst and the best... I am blessed. Besides Jesus, Jason Weathers has been the biggest blessing in my life. Without Jason, there would be no Anna Lea, Jon Brent, or Ally. Without Jason, I wouldn't be who I am today in the Lord.
Thank you, God for your blessings in my life! Your goodness to me overwhelmes me at times. How you are continually working things out for my good makes me stand in awe of you. I truly am blessed.
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9 comments:
Stephanie,
After reading your post, I just have to share with you that God is awesome. In praying for you earlier tonight with the girls, I felt a leading to specifically pray that you, in the midst of your heartache and the bustle of moving, that you would truly be able to "see" and "feel" the Lord's blessing on your life. So, when I checked your blog before going to bed (I'm trying really hard to not be a night owl anymore!), I am amazed at how God lays things on our hearts that are so specific. I mentioned in a Bible study last week how I sometimes get angry at myself at the times that I'm not listening to God's leading...and the things I miss out on when I'm not listening. This is one of those times I guess I was listening and I'm just in awe of how He leads us. We will continue praying for you and your family...
Thinking about you today Stephanie and praying for your move to go smoothly and quickly for you. I see Gods hand in just having all of your things moved here in April. He knew and prepared for this time for you. I pray for your heart as you take this giant step without Jason here to be a part of this, but I know that he is so proud of you and the way you are leaning on the Lord. His spirit will fill your new home with joy. I love you and will continue praying you through.
Love and Hugs, Laurie in Ca.
Steph,
It's so great to keep up with how life is going for you. I am so excited about your move. Having moved 10 times in 10 years, I know there is excitement and apprehension. I also know how difficult this step is for you. I will continue to pray as God continues to lead you in the direction of his choosing.
I absolutely love that song you chose to share...amen sista!
I will keep your family in my prayers thru this change, this season of time...which is really quick!!!
May God cover you in all His goodness keep your heart praising Him in every situtation you face.
God is not going to let your children forget their daddy...for He alreasy sent Uncle Scott and Uncle Brad! The lives of both these guys will reveal to your children the kind of loving, sense-able, godly, crazy funny, witted,compassionate, integrity kind of man their father was..and they will learn the honor of being called the children of Jon Jason Weathers.
With everything I have in me I wish Icould give you back your best friend, so instead I offer up prayers in your behalf....for your children, for your inlaws, for your family, and for you!
Joy and Love, Debi O.
Stephanie, how we are thinking about you in this larger than life step you are taking now. I wish I were there to help you, as I have much experience. My children say I can pack a watermelon into an egg shell! But, I know the physical part of this move is going to be the easy part....the difficult part is going to be that "stuff" you expressed, and the pain of actually opening, touching, feeling, smelling and experiencing those things that were Jason - that made Jason who he was.......and as you said, many you will laugh about, and many will strike you painfully to the very core of your being, and rightfully so...another big step in this journey you are on, and one that nobody can do for you. I get a daily devotional here at my office, along with a daily prayer, both on my computer, and one I received a few days ago, I printed to share with you, for when I read it, I almost felt as if it was one you had shared from your heart, and it went as follows: "God, I am broken and I long for healing. I am helpless and wounded, powerless and hurting. I want to find meaning in my suffering, light in my darkness, and joy in my pain. God, when I stop thrashing, when I stop wallowing in my pain, there is Your silence.......healing silence......accepting silence....for Your Holy Spirit lives in silence...and I know I am not alone....Thank you, God. I know that You love me." Stephanie, you know that He does love you, and He will see you through...no doubt about that. Constantly praying for all of you, love, carolyn laster
Wow! I was so impressed to come by tonight and find out that you had cooked such a wonderful feast. I guess I can expect to eat home cooked meals on a daily basis. Im not very picky. Any kind of meat, some bread, a good dessert, and I guess a vegetable will suffice. Looking forward to this weekend; well, moving next to ya'll, not the actually moving part. Love ya'll
BRAD
Stephanie;
I hope Mrs. Laster's prayer spoke to you, as much as it did me! Still prayin for you.
Andie Marks
I can't believe you cooked for Brad and I wasn't invited.
Just checking in to catch up. Love this post! You are truly blessed. Stay pressed in!
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