I thought I'd share a couple of pictures taken recently. I usually do better taking pictures, but I just noticed I didn't take many pictures in the month of January! What has happened to me?
This picture of Jon Brent is just cracking me up b/c poor little guy doesn't even own a pair of blue jeans much less camo until TODAY! (thanks, Ellis Ann!) This picture is for Uncle Scott and Uncle Brad. Let me clarify...Jon Brent doesn't wear girl clothes, but I do dress him in clothes that make him look like a little boy and not a little man! I have nothing against those that dress their children differently than me, but I just like to keep them looking sweet and innocent for as long as I can! Ha! Anyway, as Jon Brent ran through the house with this "get up" on, Brad was screaming, "he's free at last!" Free? From what?!?! Ha!
It is these 3 smiles that keep me smiling most days. Look at 'little Jason' with a
giant red bow in her hair...Ally! Oh, how he'd be so proud of this baby girl!
Check out the way Ally is looking at Jon Brent. She LOVES them both so much. Oh, how I praymy kids always love each other the way they do now.
This one says it all about Ally! My mom caught her one daydestroying a box of tissue.
MY DREAM
I have wanted to dream about Jason since he died. Unfortunately, it has only happened twice.
The first time he was in my dream, but he was silent. He never said a word. He was indeed a man of few words, but FEW is the key...he wasn't mute! Anyway, a little over a week ago the Lord gave me the most incredible dream. I say the Lord gave me because I believe it was a gift from Him!
I can't tell you exactly where we were in this particular dream, but I do know Jason was there. He looked incredible. Jason always had a terrific smile, but this smile was like none I had ever seen before. It was breathtaking. He looked so well and so very healthy. I ran to him and he hugged me so tightly. I just kept saying, "I love you," over and over. He began to tell me how happy he was and that he was doing great. He didn't have to tell me because it was written all over that smile. I couldn't stop crying. The neat thing about my tears is they didn't phase him. He just kept smiling. Some may see that as cold hearted, but to me it was just a reminder from the Lord that even though I grieve and hurt so deeply for Jason, he doesn't grieve or hurt where he is!
Then just like that it was over. I woke up to Ally's cries. Reality hit me square between the eyes. Oh, how I joined Ally at that very moment and sobbed. I didn't want the dream to end. I prayed and begged the Lord to allow me to go back to sleep so that I could dream about him again. It didn't happen, but I am most thankful for this gift. I was so moved by his presence in my dream that I couldn't even speak of it for several hours after I got up the next day.
I don't really know why I haven't dreamed about him more than I have, but maybe one day he'll frequent my dreams again. I always pray that the Lord would rule over my dreams and thought process each night. I have been doing that for YEARS since I was a child and would sometimes have nightmares. My God has been faithful.
One of my friends asked me if Jason had a head full of hair in my dream. I am embarrassed to say, I don't remember his hair! Obviously, he didn't or I think I would have remembered that! HA!!
I love this smile of Jason's in the above picture, but in my dream it was EVEN BETTER! What a gift! Thank you, Jesus!
7 comments:
Hey Stephanie,
I love Jon Brent's new look, it's so cute and so BOY!! Don't worry sweetie, they will stay sweet and innocent no matter what they wear because they have you for their mommy.
I love your dream, and I know there will be more when you need them the most. I believe with all my heart that Jason's smile was so much richer because he has seen Jesus face to face. This brings a smile to my heart!!
I love all the pictures of the kids and Ally is so cute looking at her big brother. She is a mirror image of Jason and a gift to you. I love you girl and continue to pray you through day by day. You are so special to me.
Love and Hugs, Laurie
What a wonderful dream. I've only had one dream of Cameron & he didn't talk in it either. I keep waiting for the day when I have another one. Your kids are so beautiful.
Steph- If it helps any, you aren't alone. I know I told all of you about the death of the student at the school where I teach. One of my students was close with Billey Joe. In fact, Billey was sort of a mentor to him. My student will talk with me about it a little. The other day he said, 'Sometimes, I wake up and forget it happened...then it hits me, bam! And it is like it happened all over again!' Another time, the student told me, 'I still miss him'....He has refused to see a counselor, so we try to help him the best we can...I was just thinking about him when you said reality hit you...if it helps any, know you aren't alone. I have told him about you and talked with him about a friend I lost in high school...he listens, so I hope that gives you some comfort. Hang in there, Stephanie. We are praying for you.
Christy
Jon Brent looks so 'cool' in his new duds. And yes, Ally is her daddy all over.
Just imagine, you will never forget Jason's smile b/c you have Ally! What a gift from God in more ways than one!
I had a long conversation w/KK, (who is just 6 days younger that AnnaLea) these kids are really growing up fast! As a grandparent, it is so neat to carry on a real conversation w/your grandchildren. Unless you have Laurie's grandson....he is amazing at mechanics at his young age! Then again, that's a boy for ya.
Joy and hugs
Ms Debi
Love your pictures...
Your dream does sound like a gift from God.
When I first dreamed about Charles after he died...he was sick and
very uncomfortable and I couldn't help him..more like a nightmares..
But those dreams passed (thank God) and all the dreams were happy ones.
He was happy..we were together as a family on vacations,ect,always, fun happy times together.
Still amazes me even though I have
married again...it is like he is just a part of our family..he is still in my dreams, still apart of my life as he is in my heart.
Praying God's blessings,
Jan
I tried to respond the other day, and your blog just disposed of my message. I'll try again.
Two things...I love the dream, and it most definitely is a gift from God. I'm most thankful that God has shown you that Jason can handle your grief. He sees the big picture now, so he knows that your grieving is part of the process.
Secondly, you know that I do like for my boys to look like boys. BUT, Jon Brent looks just as happy in the giant collar as he does in the camo. So, I say carry on as you wish. I mean you've probably got another few months before he's scarred for life anyway.
TOTALLY KIDDING!!!
I love you and miss you,
Amy
*Excellent* post as usual. I'll tell you some time about a dream I had 30(ish) years ago that's in a similar vein to yours. For what it's worth, the incredible peace of the dream & the smiling face of the loved one still remains vivid all these years later. It was actually a pretty significant part of my emotional healing from that particular loss.
And *superb* pix of the kidlings. Of course, any photographer has a lot to work with in the case of these 3, but these are great.
Press on through this day, my friend!
Mike
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