Anna Lea turns 7 on Sunday, December 21st. We celebrated a little early on Friday with her first slumber party. Whew... I am still tired! I have included some pictures below of some of the excitement.
Snow in Hattiesburg...
Anna Lea 's snow DUCK that she built with Uncle Brad!
Our house after some of the snow started to melt
Uncle Brad and the kids in their "redneck" snow attire...garbage bags! The SLUMBER party...
Lots of giggles and screams...oh, to be 7 again!Anna Lea and Jon Brent's gingerbread house
Sweet baby Ally Even with all of the busyness of this time of the year, I still find myself missing Jason so much. Sometimes I think I am taking steps in the right direction toward healing only in the next moment to feel like I have taken two giant steps backwards. I guess that is all part of the grieving process. As I have said before, grieving is such a tricky process.
Sundays are one of my hardest days. I think I have shared this before. This morning as I was getting dressed, I was totally overcome with emotion. I have this drawer in my bathroom where I have placed some of Jason's cologne. I was putting something else away and came across it. I rarely open the drawer. I took a quick sniff of the cologne he wore most of the time and just became so very sad. At that moment I just wanted him here with me. I began to cry and even began to cry aloud to the Lord. More like shouting with tears. Was I mad at God? Not at all, but I just felt the need to speak loudly. I am certain He could have heard my heart even without words. Let me say this again, I have never been angry with the Lord for He is the ONLY constant I have in my life. How could I be mad at the person that is carrying me daily if not second by second? Within seconds of my breakdown with God over why this had to happen, I felt His presence. There was His peace. The peace that passes ALL understanding.
For me when I am at my lowest, praising God in song is so very comforting and helpful. I turned on my IPod while I attempted to re-apply my make-up. The song that came on was Sing to the King. God has a way of providing just the right song for me at just the right moment!
For His return we watch and we pray...we will be ready the dawn of that day...We'll join in singing with all the redeemed...Cause Satan is vanquished and my Jesus is KING!
For His return we watch and we pray...we will be ready the dawn of that day...We'll join in singing with all the redeemed...Cause Satan is vanquished and my Jesus is KING!
Those few words helped me put my grief in perspective. The King will return for me! This hurt and pain I am experiencing will be NO more. We WILL sing with ALL the redeemed and that includes my sweet Jason!
Tonight as I was checking my email, I had received a forward of one of Beth Moore's entries to her blog. I usually read her blog because in case I haven't mentioned it before, I am a HUGE Beth Moore fan! :) The forward couldn't have come at a more perfect time for me. I am going to include a portion of what she wrote.
Girlfriends, Jesus is so worthy of our trust no matter what has taken us by surprise. Picture that, when the enemy asks for a little extra access to you, the only reason why God may have given him permission is because He knew you'd prove faithful. Do the thing. In the unseen realm, angels are cheering and demons are jeering. You are in the stadium and the bleachers are full. (Hebrews 12:1) Take one for the team if you have to. Be strong and courageous. Be willing to show people how it's done. Don't look for a leader. You are the leader. People are looking to you. Be deliberate. Make sure they see Jesus. We're not here all that long and then there's BLISS. Forever bliss. (Beth Moore)
I love the last statement so much that I am going to write it out again..."We're not here all that long and then there's BLISS. Forever bliss!" This promise from the Lord is what keeps me going day after day. I pray it does the same for you, however, I also pray that because of this most difficult journey that I am on will only point others to Jesus!
May this suffering not be in vain, oh Lord! To YOU be all the glory for you are so worthy of it all!
9 comments:
Great pictures Stephanie, every single one!! And I just love the snow DUCK. Who had more fun? The kids or Uncle Brad? I continue to pray you through sweetie, as holidays are so very difficult when missing someone SO LOVED. I am so thankful that God is so faithful in carrying you through. What would we do without Him? And aren't slumber parties so exhausting but so much fun. You did good mom, really good:)I love you Steph and pray His blessings all over you and your family.
Love and Hugs, Laurie
Your blog today blessed me in so many ways! It amazes me sometimes how you are able to take the toughest of times & turn them back to God for HIS glory! :) I really needed that today! I've been going through some trials...nothing like what you are going through, but my own little trials...just thought I'd let you know God used YOU to speak to my heart today!
Merry Christmas!
Stephanie- I am oversome with emotion ANYTIME we sing that in church. I mean, it just takes my knees right out from under me. All of your children are adorable- Ally is especially cute in her Christmas gear. I have also had an emotional week. I teach at George Co. High and we lost a kind, highly talented football playing student last Monday. It is so hard to understand why things happen the way they do. It is hard to help the kids at school when we have no answers, do I don't know how you are helping your children. I am still praying for you.
Christy
Gotta Love Beth Moore! She has the nack of telling it like it really is!
I continue to pray over you sweetie. I am also in prayer for your momma and The Weathers family over their recent loss.
Satan may attack but God is our protector! Bliss!!! Total Bliss!
Joy,
Debi O
oh yeah I LOVE THE SNOWDUCK!
Happy Birthday AnnaLea...I will always remember the day your were born, the smile on your daddy's face and the smile on your G's face that night at the hospital.
My own dear KK was only born 7 days after your arrival. Therefore G and Sir were two bubbly, button busting grandpa's!
Joy, Debi
Happy Birthday this Sunday Anna Lea. I hope you have a wonderful day.
Sweet Stephanie,
I am praying for your mom and the current things in the Weathers family. This time of year is difficult anyway and this just pours it on. Asking God to lift you up even higher at this time. Speak your mind and heart to Him, He has huge shoulders and doesn't mind. And as far as the cologne of Jasons, dab some on yourself, close your eyes and take it in. I know it must hurt so much but at the same time, it's a reminder of how close he is to you, right there in your tender and loving heart. I am praying hard for you today, loving you, and wishing I could be there to help carry the burden. I carry it in my heart for you my sweet friend. You are in my thoughts all the time.
Love and Many Hugs, Laurie
Stephanie, I just wanted to tell you how much all of you have been on my heart and in my prayers as you face this HUGE first without your precious Jason. There is no way that any of us out here in "technology land" can make this any easier for you, the children, Peggy & JM, Brad and all of the extended family, but just know that there are many of us that are going to make a concerted effort to pray you all through this next week....knowing that 2009 will bring many new blessings for each of you. Never forget that God has a wonderful plan for all of you in this, and in His infinite wisdom, He will carry you through it. Christmas blessings to each and every one of you. Carolyn Laster
Hi Stephanie,
Just thinking about you this Saturday morning and let you know I love you. Praying you through this season and all that has been going on. Wish I could reach out and give you a huge Bear Hug right now. Know I would if I could. Praying Gods blessings all over you girl.
Love and Hugs, Laurie
Stephanie,
We've never met, but I frequently read your posts to the caringbridge site and have "followed" you to this blog spot. You've mentioned before that Sunday mornings are a particularly difficult day for you, and I just wanted you to know that I specifically lifted you in prayer this morning since it is Christmas Sunday. I can't pretend to imagine your pain and grief, but you have been such an inspiration to me.
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